“And they lived happily ever after” is typically the line you’ll hear at the end of your favorite romantic comedy movie. But do these movies create an unrealistic expectation for young watchers and teenagers?
Personally, I love romcoms: the cute little romance and the enemies to lovers trope, make the movies that much better. At the same time, I believe that these relationships drawn throughout this type of genre set irrational expectations for teenagers in modern day relationships. It seems to glamify the reality of human connection, leading to a higher belief and hope. Don’t get me wrong, I’d love to receive 365 letters after I move away expressing how things weren’t over, but in reality, the closest thing to that we seem to be getting is the “wyll” text.
Romance movies are portrayed as “a magic wand that seamlessly solves all of the problems within a person’s life,” and, “rom-coms conveniently seem to end at the moment of impermanent fulfillment,” according to an article by Irena Tutunari from Michigandaily.com,
These movies often depict that love will “solve” the problem, failing to show the issues and bumpy road that comes with partner conflicts. It puts out the idea that love will bring a sense of fulfillment and worthiness.
Movies like 50 First Dates, where a commitment-phobic veterinarian, Henry Roth, fear of devotion is magically cured by the love he obtains from Lucy, a girl who has Goldfields syndrome and forgets everyday memories, exhibits that love is something that can provide a deep connection or solution. But, that doesn’t mean all his problems are solved; he still faces the ongoing, repetitive, task of making Lucy fall in love with him everyday. Yes, love can bring a roller coaster of emotions, happiness, anger, excitement, or that little butterfly feeling you get in your stomach, but at the end of the day it doesn’t fully fix someone’s problems.
These movies seem to distort the reality of emotional development, painting an unideal picture for the movies target audience, typically females, ranging ages 12 to 25. While it’s targeted towards females, there are hints of misogyny from the way male and female characters interact. Making it seem that women are downplayed and defined by their relation with a male.
“Emotional growth seems to be rushed in movies. … They’ll have one conversation and it fixes the problem when nowadays it takes multiple mature conversations to fully understand the matter in question,” an anonymous Bearcat said.
I’ve been through challenging, vulnerable conversations, so have numerous people I know. During this time of our lives, especially while we’re still growing and understanding our emotions, it’s 100% going to take more than one heart-to-heart conversation to recognize our own actions. This is a part of growth and learning, and what romcoms tend to skip over. It typically dives into the idea that love creates happiness and satisfaction, essentially “completing” you.
“If we’re empty and unfulfilled without romantic love, it’s likely that we’ll be the same way once the honeymoon phase wears off and we’re forced to face reality,” Tutunari’s article shared.
With all this being said, you might be thinking: why do we watch this genre of movies if it seems to be setting us up for an impractical idea of love?
Going down the scientific route, it gives a feeling of dopamine to an individual. Engaging with an enjoyable, romantic, and comforting media, gives our brains excitement, happiness, and a “feel good” experience. All linking together to create a stimulating, heartening, and often-addicting viewing engagement.
As a self-proclaimed rom-com lover, I find that even though I know the ending will always be the two main characters falling in love, whether it be movies like 27 Dresses or How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days, it is entertaining and provides a range of emotions I can relate to.
The truth is, until you love yourself, you won’t be ready or open to receiving love from someone else. There’s so much to a relationship, and the first thing starts with loving yourself.
Nevertheless, rom-coms are my favorite go-to movies, despite the predictable endings. However, I often remind myself, in the real world, finding love isn’t always that simple. The grand gestures and happily-ever-afters feel as if a distant dream. While rom-coms can offer a fun escape, it’s important to remember that real life relationships require effort, communication, and a healthy dose of reality; these movies are entertainment, and that is where you have to find a balance between fiction and reality.
