Parental pressure is a known issue in today’s society, and the effects it can have on someone can be detrimental if not dealt with correctly. Some parents focus too much on the success of their own child, to the point that they’re ‘living through their own kid.’ This may be caused by the parents wanting more than they were able to accomplish personally, but instead has commonly instilled a sense of higher expectations for their child.
A study from the American Psychological Association states that there’s an increase in perceived parents’ expectations by over 40% across the last 30 years, which is a shocking rise that isn’t just reflective of their perception.
Societal standards now reflect a need to be successful, and for that success to be immediate, whatever that field is in. One student, who preferred to stay anonymous, said that…
“I dreaded my [sports] games, knowing once I stepped off the field there would be some type of lecture because of my performance.”
In today’s society, people are now more subject to a social media influence than ever before. The majority of what society consumes within social media is presenting you with the success of others in some form. We have a sports culture that continuously brings younger athletes into the limelight, such as Quincy Wilson, attending the Olympics aged only 16. All social media brought attention to was his age, and it gives the feeling that if you’re not there at his age, that you’re failing, an impression that shows even parents are subject to the social media bragging that other parents demonstrate with their kids.
Bringing this back to parental pressure, many children are commonly given examples like this as comparison to their success. “Why’s he accomplishing this while you’re still playing youth sports?” It often makes a kid then question themselves, and their own decision process.
It begs the question, are we having this pressure forced onto us, or are we enforcing it on ourselves? We must first establish that it’s not a black and white situation, but the root of the pressure is often applied from parents expecting too much out of kids, and using their high expectations as fair game to ‘push’ their children to be better.
Now what justifies parents to apply such pressure? It’s fair to say that many probably don’t have ill intent, but rather a desire for success that they themselves couldn’t achieve in their youth. What this sometimes brings with it is instead a toxic environment, one that award winning journalist Jennifer B. Wallace says occurs “when we tangle up our entire sense of self and value with our achievements. ”
Parental pressure is a huge piece of many losing love for things they previously enjoyed, or becoming trapped within something they don’t enjoy, such as when a parent is more passionate about said passion than their child, and pressures them into continuing on with something that’s only going to make them eventually resent the thing that the parent had so much love for. Solving it starts from understanding that each individual wants different responses from parents, and that forcing them into an environment they don’t enjoy won’t do anything but make it worse.
