From house to house, going back and forth from their dad’s house to their mom’s house, a sophomore at PRHS seems to get stuck in the middle of arguments in their family.
After their parent’s divorce when they were four, the student primarily lives with their mom and visits with their dad happened gradually with time as they got older. However, despite the lack of time with their dad, they still managed to form a bond.
“I would say I am close with my dad, which is a little bit more unexpected but my dad’s an easy person to be close to” the student said.
An obstacle they’ve had to face growing up was getting caught in the middle of disagreements between their parents, like tying their shoes a certain way.
“There was actually this thing when I was a kid where my dad taught me how to tie my shoelaces in a way that my mom didn’t like. And she asked me why I was doing it wrong. I just thought, “Why can’t I tie my shoes the way I want to?”Although, the arguments did not stop there. Being the youngest with a brother who is four years older than them, during arguments between their brother and mom, they tended to stay in the background away from the loudness of the room. But their brother started to reassure them.
“I think he’d noticed that I was going back in a way, and so he would always talk to me and say “Hey, none of this going on is your fault. It has nothing to do with you,” the student said.
As adolescents begin to enter their teenage years, they are faced with new obstacles and struggles that they have to learn to manage. With the help of adults in their lives, these teens can surpass those difficulties, but what about those who live in households with single parents? Are they faced with more independence and tasks than average?
Ultimately, a teenager in a single-parent home is faced with increased responsibility of working, studying, and potentially caring for others like siblings, and sometimes the responsibilities can put pressure or take a toll on children and young adults.
In an article from the Annie E. Casey Foundation on single-parenthood, the article states, “Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACE), can cause ‘toxic stress,’ which can lead to deleterious consequences on a child’s physician and mental health, education and other life outcomes.”
Despite the negative circumstances that come from the struggling lifestyle, being raised with a single parent may not always be perceived as negative. Children from single-parent households can develop beneficial skills that can work in or outside of the house.
For instance, a teen can establish emotional resilience, efficient problem-solving from living in an unpredictable household, and time-management to focus on important tasks and prioritize supporting their parents.
According to family practitioner, Melinda Ratini, reports that parents can teach their children how to become independent and take responsibility.
Through this method, Ratini states that having these aspects at a young age, can benefit children’s perseverance in performing tasks, and increase self-confidence.
Yet, as parents support and provide for their children, their influence and behavior towards adolescents plays a significant role in the development.
Brenda Matthysse, Child Development teacher here at PRHS, notes that parents are the biggest influences on children. Missing one parent can influence the child in different ways.
“I think its really dependent on the child’s temperament, personality, and needs that they might have. You’re going to find that some are more resilient than others and some children are not.”
